Why I won't play the numbers game anymore

Blogging is hard work anyone and everyone who has dipped their toe into the blogging work will know that blogging is hard. If you let it, it can be all consuming. You see, for many, blogging is a numbers game. A game that can lead you feeling deflated, comparing yourself to others and for some the need to feel like you need to buy followers (yes, this sadly happens). It's a game I just don't want to play anymore.

I've read a few other posts where I know many other bloggers are feeling the same. Attending conferences, being constantly told they've got to keep plugging and plugging if you really want to be successful. I mean, many top bloggers make their bread and butter by selling their advice through courses on how to be a better blogger. It's constant. You have to be active on every platform, pushing content all the time. Editing photos, writing posts, building a YouTube channel, because, you know, video is the new way to make megabucks. Engaging with readers, replying to emails, updating media packs, sending invoices, tax returns. It's exhausting.

Now, I'm not saying don't do this. What I am saying is, don't lose sight of the bigger picture. The reason you started. Your family. Your happiness - don't let it become something that's so consuming that you start to constantly compare and feel down that you don't have the same followers as X or you missed out on an opportunity to Y. You're worth so much more than that. You deserve happiness.

These past 18 months I have been fuelled by driving up numbers and gaining more income. Whilst I have earned more in the last 18 months than I have in the whole 5 and a half years I've been blogging, I have also been at my lowest point. Anxiety riddled and unhappy.

Yes, I had become very unhappy.

I believe a huge factor has been the constant push on the blogging side of things. Being frustrated that my audience hasn't grown as quickly as I would like or that I didn't really feel like I was a part of the blogging community because I couldn't keep up with the constant chat on social media. I often wonder how active members get anything else done. It's constant. Whilst it is usually all incredibly helpful and supporting, it's slightly overwhelming when it feels like 'tip and tricks' and the latest list of to do's to be a successful blogger alter and update daily. The blogging community is amazing, but you have to remember to not get too sucked in.

Personally, I decided enough was enough. I can no longer deal with feeling constantly overwhelmed. Because as well as being a "professional" blogger, I was also working as a teacher, a mother and wife. It took its toll.

So, I took a step back. Reassessed. I wrote down my blog goals, none of which are now driven by numbers.

I want to rebrand. "Mummy B" kind of makes me cringe now when I say it. I feel I have moved on from the mummy with two young children who wrote about sleepless nights and the latest weaning products. I'm more than this and my interests are certainly wider than this presently. I want to write more about wellbeing, teaching, art, travel - more things that just the motherhood side of me.

I would like to create videos that promote wellbeing and with that, improve my editing.

I feel having more of an emphasis on what makes me happy, will hopefully make my find my happy blogging place once again. I won't be bogged down by unrealistic expectations but will focus on areas of strengths and where I'm at my happiest.

So, my numbers may not grow as quickly as I would like. I may not post as regularly as I should. But I'm happy and you know what? I feel excited about blogging again. It kind of feels refreshing to not to feel the baggage of numbers (or lack of).

I would love to hear your none number blogging goals and if there is any way I can support you reaching them.

Mummy B (for now) xoxox