Children, a bigger commitment than Marriage?

For many people having a child is the ultimate commitment to a partner. A life you have created together and are responsible for raising. Surely there is no stronger commitment? It’s a commitment that many people make even before marriage, like me and my now husband. We had our daughter first, then married when she was two and our second child then followed.

So why did we decide to tie the knot? Which one felt like the bigger commitment?

Let’s go back to when we had our daughter in 2012. We were in our early 20’s, 23 and 24. We were ready to be parents and so excited for the arrival of our daughter. Just creating this little bean and the anticipation of her arrival made me feel even more in love with my man. But it wasn’t until her birth that I truly and I mean truly realised just how deep our love ran. Vomming yet?

My birth with very traumatic with Darcie, there were a few complications which resulted in me and my husband being separated, which was emotional in its self and then me being put to sleep and neither of us being present at her birth was far from the picture we had dreamed of during those nine months of waiting. In my pain, drugged state the look on Jamie’s face when they told us to kiss before I was wheeled down to the theatre was the moment I knew that I was his everything. For such a stressful and terrifying experience but that feeling of his love and commitment to me in that moment was an incredible feeling.

When I thought I couldn’t possibly love him more, he walked through into the recovery room holding our daughter, my heart filled even more. It was so strange and pretty indescribable.

For a while, I was very content. I wasn’t too fussed about getting married. I knew that Darcie was far more of a commitment, I mean our connection would never break even if our relationship did. So why did we go ahead and decide to get hitched?

It wasn’t because I wanted us to all have the same name. It wasn’t because I wanted us to be “legally” a family – it was because I wanted to celebrate the commitment we had made when we began our little family. The icing on the cake.

Even our engagement was solely centred around our little family. He took me to Canterbury, where we had graduated together years before and we spent the day showing Darcie our favourite little spots. When he eventually built up the courage to ask me, he even included Darcie, getting her to help present the most gorgeous engagement ring. A ring that was exactly what I had always dreamed of having.

Fast forward to our wedding day and the same feelings from the day our daughter arrived were present. Feelings of content, pride and happiness – it felt so good to become Mrs Burgess.

Many people say that the sanctity of marriage has been lost in our modern day society and although for me, it’s not a religious ceremony or a promise. For me, the promise was already made when we decided to bring a child into the world. For me, a marriage is a celebration of love and respect we have for one another.

Now it’s time to nag him for an eternity ring *jokes*!