Family • Wellbeing • Adventure

Monday, 8 September 2014

A Pang of Guilt

Today Darcie went back to nursery, after having an amazing two weeks off. Normally I never experience guilt when leaving Darcie at nursery, she happily runs off and shouts "bye" as she goes and says hello to her friends and key workers. 

This morning was... Different.

Darcie looked up at me and asked to be picked up as we walked through the doors - not unusual as she often asks for a quick cuddle. So I picked up my beautiful girl and we walked through the entrance. Darcie was warmly welcomed as all the workers asked about the wedding and our honeymoon, whilst we shared stories, Darcie quietly hugged me a little bit harder than she normally would. As I said "Darcie, it's time for mummy to go to work and for you to sit with your friends" she hugged me for two solid minuets, nuzzled into me. I embraced her, and just closed my eyes and suddenly felt so overwhelmed!

 We had an amazing summer and I think Darcie loved spending so much quality time with her mummy and daddy. This little embrace felt like she was saying a silent "thank you". She then pulled away and said, "love you mummy, bye now" and off she went and sat with her friends ready for breakfast. It was a strange moment, the nursery drop off is usually so rushed- and she is not normally fazed in the slightest. Though there were no tears (that would be incredibly out of character), I couldn't help but feel a slight pang of guilt as I waved at her through the window. 

On the way to work, I couldn't help but think about that moment. We have been so incredibly lucky that we have been able to give Darcie so many amazing experiences, and that has only come from hard work and generosity of loved ones. I went from feeling ever so overwhelmed with guilt to feeling so overwhelmed with happiness. 

Life is a funny thing.

Hope you have all had a fab Monday!

Mummy B xoxox

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