It's a question that most children will probably ask their pregnant mothers and perhaps it's a question that you may dread. Just how exactly should you answer it? In truth there is no right or wrong way to answer this question when your child asks. It's entirely up to you how you wish to answer. Let's face it, the truth may be hard to comprehend.
So at the weekend when my own three year old asked this question I answered her truthfully. I lowered the waistline of my trousers and I showed her my scar. A scar she has seen numerous times but has never asked what it was. I explained that my belly is cut open by a doctor and then they get the baby out. I tell her it doesn't hurt because they give me special medicine but that I can be sore after baby is born. She seemed a little worried, but I assured her that I would be fine. She asked a few more questions and me and Jamie answered them the best we could. I could see her little mind trying to work it all out, but in the end she seemed happy with the answer and then quickly moved onto what she wanted for breakfast. A far more important topic in a three year olds train of thought!
I decided to tell her this version because it is the truth for our situation and because I wanted her to be prepared for a mummy who may be a little tender. We all know three years olds like to launch themselves at you when they want to smother you with affection, but due to surgery I want her to understand why mummy is going to have to spend some time healing without out her feeling like I'm leaving her out. I often wonder if I was going to have a normal delivery what I would say in response to this question, I kind of feel like I have the easier option due to my visual scar!
Some people may frown upon my decision, is a three year old really old enough to deal with the idea of her mummy's tummy being cut open in order for her baby brother to be born? I mean, it is a scary thought, terrifies me, but in my opinion yes she is. I don't want to feed her a mystical fairytale when it comes to something like this. My parents were always very open with me and I would like to be the same with my own daughter.
As my section date approaches, it's only a matter of days away now, Darcie has made a few funny comments. When I came home from my final consultant appointment she ran up to me, lifted my top and said "mummy did they cut your belly open to get baby out? Are you ok?". I couldn't help but giggle. I explained to her it wasn't quite time yet and they were just checking baby was ok.
I'm hoping when baby does arrive and I am recovering that my honesty helps Darcie to understand why I perhaps may not be up to playing straight away. It's something I have worried about through the whole of my pregnancy, I really don't want her to feel pushed out so made the conscious decision to be honest throughout. As with all parenting obstacles you find your own way to muddle through and work out what's best for you and your family.
Has your child ever asked that dreaded question? How did you respond? How do you think you would respond if you haven't already been asked?
Mummy B xoxox
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