Monday, 11 August 2025

What to Do if Your Child Doesn't Enjoy School

As a parent, discovering that your child doesn’t enjoy school can be disheartening. Whether it's reluctance to get ready in the morning, complaints about lessons, or emotional outbursts around schoolwork, a child’s dislike for school can raise alarm bells. But before jumping to conclusions, it’s important to understand what might be driving those feelings, and how you can help.

In this post, a private school in Dublin explores possible reasons for school aversion, strategies to support your child, and when to seek further help.


Understanding the Reasons Behind School Dislike

Children may dislike school for a variety of reasons, and pinpointing the root cause is essential before taking action. Some common factors include:

1. Academic Struggles

If a child finds lessons too hard—or too easy—they may feel bored, overwhelmed, or discouraged.

2. Friendship or Social Issues

Falling out with friends, feeling isolated, or being a target of bullying can make school feel like a negative place.

3. Anxiety or Mental Health Challenges

Performance pressure, fear of failure, or undiagnosed anxiety disorders can all contribute to a general dislike of school.

4. Learning Differences

Conditions like ADHD, dyslexia, or autism may make it harder for children to engage in a conventional school setting without additional support.

5. Disconnection from Learning

Sometimes children just don’t see the relevance of what they’re being taught, leading to disinterest or resistance.

What You Can Do to Support Your Child

1. Start with a Conversation

Choose a calm, non-judgmental time to talk. Ask open-ended questions like:
  • “Can you tell me what a typical school day feels like for you?”
  • “Are there parts of school you like at all?”
  • “Is there something that’s been making you unhappy?”
Be patient if your child is hesitant to open up—building trust takes time.

2. Speak With the School

Teachers and pastoral staff can offer valuable insights. They may have observed patterns of behaviour or social dynamics that aren't obvious at home. Arrange a meeting to:
  • Share your concerns
  • Ask about classroom participation and peer relationships
  • Explore possible interventions or adjustments

3. Validate Their Feelings

Let your child know it's okay to feel upset or frustrated. Dismissing their emotions (“Everyone has to go to school, just get on with it”) can damage trust and increase resistance. Instead, acknowledge their experience and reassure them that you're there to help.

4. Establish a Positive Routine

A predictable daily routine can help create a sense of security:
  • Encourage healthy sleep habits
  • Offer a nutritious breakfast
  • Create a calm morning environment to reduce stress before school
Pair these with positive reinforcement when your child makes efforts to engage with school.

5. Find Joy Outside of Academics

Encourage your child’s interests through hobbies, sports, or creative activities. Feeling successful in one area can build confidence and spill over into school life.

6. Explore Alternative Learning Approaches

If the traditional school structure isn’t a good fit, you might consider:
  • A different school setting (e.g., smaller class sizes, specialist schools)
  • Homeschooling or online learning (in consultation with educators)
  • Accessing support through an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP) if special needs are identified

When to Seek Professional Help

If your child’s aversion to school is severe or long-lasting—especially if it affects their mental health, sleep, or ability to participate in daily activities—consider reaching out to:
  • Your GP or paediatrician
  • A school counsellor or educational psychologist
  • Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS)
Early intervention can make a significant difference, especially when underlying conditions like anxiety, depression, or neurodiversity are involved.

Disliking school doesn’t make a child lazy or difficult, it’s usually a signal that something deeper needs attention. As a parent, your understanding, advocacy, and support can transform how your child experiences education. By listening without judgment and working collaboratively with your child and their school, you can help turn the tide and restore a sense of confidence and well-being.

K Elizabeth xoxox

*Collaborative Post  


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